birth chartBy DailyDestiny Editorial Team

Black Moon Lilith: What It Reveals About Your Shadow Side

Black Moon Lilith is a calculated point in the Moon's orbit that astrologers read as the place where you were shamed into hiding your own appetite. This guide covers the three Liliths, the lunar apogee the main one is drawn from, Lilith through every sign and house, and the honest criticisms of reading a woman-shaped demon into a birth chart.

What is Black Moon Lilith in astrology?

Black Moon Lilith is a calculated point in the Moon's orbit rather than a planet, asteroid, or star. The Moon travels around Earth on an ellipse, and every ellipse has two focal points. Earth occupies one of them. The other focus is empty, and that empty focus is Black Moon Lilith. Seen from Earth it lies in the same direction as lunar apogee, the spot where the Moon is farthest away, which is why ephemerides often list the point as Mean Apogee or Lune Noire. In lilith astrology this point marks the part of a chart where a person met shame early and learned to hide an appetite rather than defend it. The glyph is a black crescent sitting on a small cross. Black Moon Lilith completes one lap of the zodiac in roughly 8.85 years, so it holds a single sign for about nine months and everyone born in that stretch shares it. That makes the sign a generational flavor and the house placement the personal detail. Astrologers read it alongside the chart's core structure rather than in isolation.

The framing that gives Black Moon Lilith its weight is the geometry itself. Earth sits at the occupied focus and the Moon orbits around it; the empty focus is the point the Moon leans away from, the far end of the swing, the place of maximum distance. Astrologers who work with the point treat that emptiness as the interpretive core. It describes something structurally present in a life and structurally unoccupied, a shape carved out by absence rather than filled by a body. Whether that geometry justifies the psychology is a fair question, addressed directly further down. What is not in dispute is that the point is easy to calculate and available in almost every chart program, which is a large part of why Black Moon Lilith spread through contemporary astrology so quickly while dozens of other hypothetical points never caught on. It arrived with a name, a myth, and a free ephemeris, and that combination travels.

Why is Black Moon Lilith called black if it is only a point?

The name comes from twentieth-century French astrology, where the point is called the Lune Noire, the Black Moon, in contrast to the visible Moon. The word black marks it as the unlit counterpart of the Moon rather than describing any color. The Moon shows the nurturing, familiar, socially acceptable emotional life; the Black Moon marks the emotional material that was never given light.

Is Black Moon Lilith the same as the lunar nodes?

Black Moon Lilith and the lunar nodes are different calculated points with different geometry. The nodes are where the Moon's orbital plane crosses the ecliptic, and they carry themes of direction and karmic pull, covered in North Node in Astrology: Your Soul's Purpose Revealed. Black Moon Lilith is the apogee direction and carries themes of shame and refusal. Both are points rather than bodies, and that is the only real overlap.

What are the three Liliths, and how are they different?

Three separate things in astrology carry the name Lilith, and confusing them produces contradictory readings. Black Moon Lilith is the lunar apogee point described above, the one nearly all modern practitioners mean when they say Lilith without qualification. Dark Moon Lilith is a different proposition entirely: it refers to a hypothetical second satellite of Earth, reported by observers in the late nineteenth century and never confirmed by anyone else. Astronomy does not recognize it, though ephemerides for it still circulate and a minority of astrologers use them. Asteroid Lilith is object 1181 in the asteroid belt, a genuine rock with a genuine orbit, but it was named for the French composer Lili Boulanger rather than the mythological figure, so its symbolic connection to the Lilith myth is a later graft rather than an original intention. These three sit in different degrees, move at different speeds, and can occupy different signs in the same chart at the same time. When someone tells you your Lilith is in Aries, the first useful question is which Lilith they calculated.

There is a fourth complication layered on top of the three, which is that Black Moon Lilith itself exists in two versions, mean and true. So a chart can display four Lilith positions, and a beginner comparing readings across two websites can easily conclude that astrology is broken when the real problem is that one site used mean Black Moon Lilith and the other used osculating. The practical convention among working astrologers is straightforward: Black Moon Lilith carries the tradition and the interpretive literature, so start there. Dark Moon Lilith is a curiosity worth knowing mainly so you can identify it when you encounter it. Asteroid 1181 Lilith gets used by astrologers who prefer physical bodies to calculated points, and it is read more quietly, as a specific sensitivity rather than a shadow engine. Mixing all four into one interpretation produces noise, not depth.

Where did Dark Moon Lilith come from?

Dark Moon Lilith originates in nineteenth-century reports of a second, dusty satellite orbiting Earth, most associated with the German observer Georg Waldemath, who claimed to have seen it transit the Sun. No independent confirmation followed and mainstream astronomy dropped the claim. A handful of astrologers kept the idea, assigned it an orbital period, and produced an ephemeris. Dark Moon Lilith is therefore a chart point for an object that is not believed to exist.

Which Lilith do chart calculators show by default?

Most chart calculators show mean Black Moon Lilith by default, usually labeled simply Lilith or Mean Apogee. Astrodienst and any software built on the Swiss Ephemeris can output both mean and osculating Black Moon Lilith, and many programs also offer asteroid 1181 if you enter the asteroid number manually. Dark Moon Lilith is rarely included and usually requires a specialist tool.

What is the lunar apogee, and why does it give two versions of Lilith?

The lunar apogee is the point in the Moon's orbit where the Moon sits farthest from Earth, and Black Moon Lilith is measured in that direction. If the Moon's orbit were a clean, fixed ellipse, apogee would be a single unambiguous longitude and there would be one Lilith. It is not clean. The Sun's gravity constantly deforms the Moon's path, so the actual apogee jitters back and forth rather than advancing smoothly. Astronomers handle this by defining two quantities. The mean apogee averages out the wobble and advances steadily through the zodiac, completing a circuit in about 8.85 years, the period known as the precession of the lunar apsides. The osculating apogee is the apogee of the exact orbit the Moon is on at a given instant, and it swings around the mean position by several degrees, frequently reversing into apparent retrograde motion. Mean Black Moon Lilith and true Black Moon Lilith are these two quantities, which is why the same birth data can yield two different Lilith degrees and occasionally two different signs.

The choice between mean and true is one of the few genuine methodological arguments in lilith astrology, and both camps have a coherent case. Practitioners who prefer mean Lilith argue that the smoothed point describes a structural, lifelong theme, and that a chart factor representing deep-seated shame should not be flickering back and forth across a sign boundary several times in a season. Practitioners who prefer true Lilith argue that the osculating point is the physically real apogee at the moment of birth, that its retrograde phases are meaningful rather than noise, and that the mean value is a mathematical convenience describing no actual instant. In practice, run both and see which one lands on material you recognize. Where the two agree, which is most of the time, the question is moot.

How far apart can mean Lilith and true Lilith be?

Mean Lilith and true Lilith typically sit within a few degrees of each other but can separate by roughly thirty degrees at the extremes of the oscillation, which is enough to place them in adjacent signs or adjacent houses. Because true Lilith swings back and forth, it can cross the same degree several times in a few months, so births close to a sign boundary are the ones most affected by the choice.

Does Black Moon Lilith ever go retrograde?

Mean Black Moon Lilith never goes retrograde; by construction it advances at a constant forward rate. True Black Moon Lilith goes retrograde often, because the osculating apogee oscillates rather than progressing evenly. Astrologers who use true Lilith and treat retrograde motion as significant read a retrograde natal Lilith as shame turned inward on the self rather than projected outward, though this reading is not universally accepted.

Where does the Lilith myth actually come from?

The Lilith story that astrologers draw on comes from Jewish folklore, and the version everyone quotes appears in a medieval Hebrew text called the Alphabet of Ben Sira. In that telling, Lilith is created from the same earth as Adam rather than from his rib, refuses to lie beneath him during sex on the grounds that they are equals, speaks the divine name, and flies away from Eden. Refusing to return, she becomes a night demon associated with the deaths of infants, and Eve is created afterward as the compliant replacement. Older threads feed into this. The word lilith appears once in the Hebrew Bible, in Isaiah, among a list of creatures haunting a ruined wilderness, and translators have rendered it as screech owl, night creature, or night monster depending on the edition. Mesopotamian sources describe a class of night spirits with a phonetically similar name. The Babylonian Talmud mentions Lilith as a winged demon, and later Kabbalistic writing, particularly in the Zohar tradition, develops her into a consort of the demonic realm.

What matters for reading Black Moon Lilith in a birth chart is the shape of the story rather than its provenance. A being asserts equality, is refused, leaves rather than submits, and is subsequently recast as a monster who threatens children. That sequence, refusal followed by demonization, is the interpretive template astrologers apply to the chart point. The feminist reclamation of Lilith that began in the twentieth century inverted the moral of the story, reading her flight as integrity rather than rebellion and her demonization as slander written by the winning side. Contemporary astrological writing on Black Moon Lilith inherits that inversion almost wholesale, which is worth knowing because it means the astrology is interpreting a modern reading of a medieval text, not the medieval text itself. The Lilith of the Alphabet of Ben Sira kills babies. The Lilith of a modern chart reading refuses to shrink. These are not the same figure, and honest practice acknowledges the distance between them.

Is Lilith mentioned in the Bible?

Lilith appears once in the Hebrew Bible, in a passage in Isaiah describing desolate ruins inhabited by wild animals and night creatures. The Hebrew word is rendered differently across translations, including screech owl, night creature, and in some modern versions Lilith by name. It is a single word in a list, with no narrative attached. The full Lilith story does not appear in the Bible at all.

How did a demon from folklore become a birth chart point?

The lunar apogee acquired the name Lilith through twentieth-century French astrology, where the point was already called the Lune Noire and the mythological association was applied to it. Once the point had a name with a story attached, the interpretive tradition grew around the story rather than the geometry. The astronomy came first and the myth was mapped onto it afterward, which is the reverse of how planetary symbolism developed.

What does Black Moon Lilith represent in a birth chart?

Black Moon Lilith in a birth chart marks where a person learned that a natural appetite was unacceptable, and what they did with that appetite afterward. Astrologers describe it as the place of exile in the chart: a hunger, an intensity, or a refusal that got no permission and therefore went underground. Because it went underground rather than disappearing, it keeps surfacing sideways, as compulsion, as disproportionate rage, as attraction to people who act it out, or as a flat refusal to compromise on one specific thing while compromising freely on everything else. The other side of Black Moon Lilith is autonomy. The same placement that describes the wound describes the point at which a person cannot be bought, managed, or talked around. Practitioners read Lilith as the last thing a person will surrender. The developmental arc, in this system, runs from disowning the material, through projecting it onto others and being blindsided by it, to eventually claiming it deliberately. Lilith rarely reads as gentle, and it is not meant to.

Black Moon Lilith is distinct from the other difficult factors in a chart, and keeping the distinction clear prevents a muddled reading. Saturn describes what was demanded of you and where competence was extracted through pressure. Pluto describes power, its loss, and its recovery on a generational scale. Chiron describes the wound that becomes a vocation. Black Moon Lilith describes what was forbidden, which is a narrower and more specific thing. Saturn says not good enough. Lilith says not allowed. The emotional signature astrologers associate with a hot Lilith is not inadequacy but outrage, the particular fury of having been told that something true about you is obscene. That is why Lilith placements often surface in a consultation around bodies, sexuality, appetite, ambition in someone raised to be modest, or anger in someone raised to be pleasant. The material is rarely exotic. It is usually ordinary human wanting that met an unusually sharp no.

What is the difference between Lilith and the shadow in Jungian terms?

The Jungian shadow covers everything a person has disowned, including qualities that are simply undeveloped or inconvenient. Black Moon Lilith, as astrologers use it, points at a narrower slice of that: the disowned material that was actively shamed and that carries charge. Not all shadow content is Lilith content. The test practitioners apply is whether the topic produces heat, defensiveness, or fascination rather than mere indifference.

Does a strong Lilith mean someone is dangerous or destructive?

A prominent Black Moon Lilith does not indicate a dangerous or destructive person. Astrologers read it as indicating a person with a non-negotiable, an area where social pressure will not work on them. That can look destructive when the surrounding environment demands compliance and reads refusal as aggression. The same placement in a person who has come to terms with the material tends to read as unusual candor rather than volatility.

How does Lilith relate to Mars in the chart?

Mars describes how a person pursues, asserts, and fights, and it is the chart's active drive, covered in Mars Sign: What Your Mars Placement Says About Drive and Passion. Black Moon Lilith describes desire that was denied an outlet rather than desire in action. When Lilith aspects Mars closely, astrologers read the assertion function itself as the shamed material, which often shows up as a person who is either conflict-avoidant to a fault or explosive with no middle setting.

What does your Lilith sign mean in each zodiac sign?

Your Lilith sign describes the style of the forbidden material, the flavor of what got shamed rather than the life area it belongs to. Lilith in Aries refuses to be told to calm down, and the shamed thing is raw self-assertion. Lilith in Taurus centers on the body, appetite, and the right to take up physical space and comfort without earning it. Lilith in Gemini guards the voice: what was said, what was silenced, and a refusal to be talked over. Lilith in Cancer holds shame around need itself, around wanting to be held and being told that is too much. Lilith in Leo protects the right to be seen and centers the humiliation of having been called attention-seeking. Lilith in Virgo attaches to the body's functions and to the fear of being found unclean, flawed, or insufficiently useful. Each sign describes what the exile is made of; the house tells you where in the life it happens.

Lilith in Libra carries shame around wanting on one's own terms inside a relationship, and often produces a person who is agreeable everywhere except one absolute line. Lilith in Scorpio is the placement most written about and the one most prone to overreading, describing sexual and power-related material that the person either treats as unspeakable or wields deliberately. Lilith in Sagittarius refuses imposed belief and carries shame around having asked the questions no one wanted asked. Lilith in Capricorn attaches to ambition and authority, frequently in someone taught that wanting status was unseemly. Lilith in Aquarius guards the right to be strange and often marks a person who was the odd one in a family that valued sameness. Lilith in Pisces holds shame around escape, longing, and porousness, and can describe someone whose imagination or grief was treated as self-indulgence. Because everyone born within about nine months shares the sign, the sign alone is a starting point rather than a reading.

Why is Lilith in Scorpio treated as the strongest placement?

Lilith in Scorpio gets treated as the strongest placement because the sign's traditional associations with sex, death, taboo, and power overlap almost perfectly with Lilith's own themes, so the two reinforce each other rather than pulling in different directions. Experienced practitioners are cautious about this, since the doubling makes it easy to write dramatic interpretations that flatter rather than describe. A quiet Lilith in Scorpio is entirely possible.

Does the Lilith sign matter less than the house?

The Lilith sign matters less than the house for individual interpretation, because Black Moon Lilith holds a sign for roughly nine months and everyone born in that window shares it. The house placement depends on birth time and is unique to a narrow band of births, so it localizes the theme to a specific area of life. Astrologers generally read the house first and use the sign to describe its texture.

What does Lilith mean in each of the 12 houses?

Lilith in the houses shows where in life the forbidden material surfaces, and this is the placement that makes a Lilith reading personal. Lilith in the 1st house sits on the body and manner, producing someone read as provocative before they do anything, and heavily projected onto. Lilith in the 2nd house attaches to money, possessions, and self-worth, often with shame about wanting security or about how much is enough. Lilith in the 3rd house lands on speech, siblings, and early schooling, and frequently marks a person who was punished for what they said out loud. Lilith in the 4th house sits in the family of origin, marking the household secret or the parent whose appetite was the unspoken problem. Lilith in the 5th house attaches to sex, creativity, children, and pleasure taken for its own sake. Lilith in the 6th house shows up in work, service, and the body's daily functioning, often as resentment at being useful on demand.

Lilith in the 7th house puts the material into partnership, where it is typically met by attracting people who carry it openly, and it is the classic placement for being drawn to partners others call unsuitable. Lilith in the 8th house attaches to shared resources, sexual intimacy, and inheritance, and reads as the most literal expression of the taboo theme. Lilith in the 9th house sits in belief, higher education, and foreign places, and marks the person who left a religion or a country and was called disloyal for it. Lilith in the 10th house lands on reputation and career, producing public friction, and often a person whose refusal is visible enough to define their standing. Lilith in the 11th house attaches to groups and friendships, marking the person exiled from a community or who cannot fully belong to one. Lilith in the 12th house is the most buried placement, describing material the person cannot see in themselves at all until it is reflected back. For the underlying life areas, see The 12 Houses in Astrology: Life Areas Explained.

Which Lilith house placement is considered hardest?

The 12th house is generally considered the hardest Lilith placement, because the material is least accessible to the person carrying it. Astrologers describe 12th house Lilith as shame that operates below the threshold of self-awareness, surfacing through dreams, addictive patterns, or a persistent sense of guilt with no traceable cause. The 1st and 7th houses are more disruptive socially but easier to work with, since the material is visible.

What if Lilith sits right on a house cusp?

When Black Moon Lilith sits within a couple of degrees of a house cusp, read both houses and pay attention to which house system you are using, since Placidus, whole sign, and equal house can assign the same degree to different houses. Practitioners usually favor the house Lilith occupies in whole sign as a check, then look at which of the two life areas actually carries the charge in the person's history.

Can Lilith in the houses be read without a birth time?

Lilith in the houses cannot be read reliably without a birth time, because house cusps depend on the exact moment and location of birth. Black Moon Lilith moves slowly enough that the sign is safe with only a birth date, but the house can shift within a few hours. Without a birth time, work with the sign and with aspects to the slower planets, and treat the house as unknown.

How do you find Black Moon Lilith in your birth chart and read it?

To find Black Moon Lilith in your birth chart, use any calculator that supports extra points, enter your birth date, exact time, and birth city, then enable the option labeled Lilith, Black Moon Lilith, or Mean Apogee. Note the sign, the degree, the house, and any aspects within a tight orb. Read it in that order. The house tells you the arena, the sign tells you the texture, and the aspects tell you which parts of the personality the material is fused to. Keep orbs tight, no more than about three degrees for a conjunction and two for the harder angles, because Black Moon Lilith is a calculated point and loose orbs turn it into a factor that touches everything and therefore explains nothing. Aspects to the Sun, Moon, Venus, Mars, and the Ascendant carry the most weight. Aspects to the outer planets are shared by whole birth cohorts and mean far less individually. If you are new to chart mechanics, How to Read Your Birth Chart: Complete Beginner's Guide covers the structure this sits inside.

The interpretive move that separates a useful Lilith reading from a dramatic one is asking for the biography before offering the meaning. A chart shows a placement; it does not show what happened. Someone with Lilith in the 4th house may have grown up in a household with an obvious unspeakable, or may have grown up somewhere quietly rigid where a very ordinary appetite got a very cold response. The placement is the same and the lived material is entirely different. Practitioners who work responsibly with Black Moon Lilith describe the shape and let the person fill it, rather than announcing what must have occurred. This matters more with Lilith than with almost any other chart factor, because a confidently delivered wrong guess here can implant a false memory or hand someone a grievance they did not have.

What Lilith aspects are worth reading?

The Black Moon Lilith aspects worth reading are conjunctions, oppositions, and squares to the Sun, Moon, Venus, Mars, Ascendant, and Midheaven, kept within about three degrees. Trines and sextiles to Lilith are read as easier access to the material rather than absence of it. Aspects between Lilith and Jupiter, Saturn, or the outer planets exist in every chart of a generation and carry little individual weight unless they also touch a personal point.

How do Black Moon Lilith transits work?

Black Moon Lilith transits move slowly, spending roughly nine months in each sign, so a transit to a natal planet is a season rather than an event. Astrologers describe Lilith transits as periods when a previously tolerable compromise stops being tolerable. Because the point returns to its natal position about every 8.85 years, the Lilith return arrives roughly at ages nine, eighteen, twenty-six, thirty-five, and so on, and is read as a recurring reckoning with the same refusal.

What are the criticisms of Black Moon Lilith astrology?

Black Moon Lilith attracts four serious criticisms, and a practitioner who cannot name them is not worth much. The first is astronomical: the empty focus of an ellipse is a geometric abstraction with no physical presence, and even within astrology's own logic it is unclear why an unoccupied mathematical point should carry meaning. The second is historical: the myth was mapped onto the apogee in the twentieth century, so the interpretive tradition is decades old rather than ancient, and claims that Lilith represents suppressed knowledge from antiquity are overstated. The third is that the popular framing of Lilith as the dark feminine reimports exactly the essentialism it claims to overturn, sorting human traits into masculine and feminine and then calling the feminine half wild. The fourth is practical: Lilith readings drift easily into flattery, since being told your rage is sacred and your appetite is holy is pleasant to hear and hard to disconfirm. Each of these deserves a straight answer rather than a deflection.

There is a fifth criticism that comes from inside the tradition rather than outside it, and it is the sharpest. Black Moon Lilith can function as a permission slip. A person who has been told that their chart contains an untamable point of pure refusal has been handed a framework in which cruelty reads as authenticity and an unwillingness to apologize reads as integrity. The myth makes this easy, because the story rewards refusal without asking whether the refusal was warranted. The corrective that experienced practitioners apply is a question of direction: Lilith material that is being reclaimed tends to make a person more truthful about themselves and no harder on others, while Lilith material being used as cover tends to produce the opposite. If the placement is mostly explaining why other people are the problem, the reading has gone wrong. That test is not scientific, but it is the one that distinguishes useful work with this point from self-justification wearing astrological clothes.

Is calling Lilith the dark feminine a problem?

Calling Black Moon Lilith the dark feminine is a genuine point of contention within astrology. Critics argue the phrase recycles the same binary that produced the original shaming, assigning wildness, appetite, and instinct to a feminine category and implying that men's charts contain something different. Astrologers who take the objection seriously read Lilith as disowned appetite in any chart, and use the myth's plot rather than its gender as the interpretive key.

Do traditional astrologers use Black Moon Lilith?

Traditional and Hellenistic astrologers largely do not use Black Moon Lilith, since the point has no place in the classical toolkit of planets, signs, houses, and aspects, and its symbolism arrived only in the twentieth century. It is primarily a modern and psychological technique. Its absence from traditional practice is a reasonable argument for holding it lightly rather than building a reading around it.

Can a Lilith reading do harm?

A Black Moon Lilith reading can do harm when it is delivered as a claim about what happened rather than a description of a pattern. Because the point is associated with shame, sexuality, and family secrets, a confident wrong guess can suggest events that did not occur or reframe an ordinary childhood as an abusive one. Responsible practice describes the shape and asks rather than tells, and refers to a therapist when the material is clearly clinical rather than astrological.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is Black Moon Lilith a real object in space?

Black Moon Lilith is not a physical object. It is a geometric point: the empty focus of the Moon's elliptical orbit, which lies in the same direction from Earth as lunar apogee. There is nothing there to photograph. Astrologers who use Black Moon Lilith treat it the way they treat the Ascendant or the lunar nodes, as a meaningful position rather than a body, and the meaning comes from the tradition of interpretation rather than from anything the point emits or does.

What is the difference between mean Lilith and true Lilith?

Mean Lilith is the smoothed, averaged position of the lunar apogee, moving forward through the zodiac at a steady rate. True Lilith, also called osculating Lilith, is the apogee of the actual instantaneous orbit, which wobbles because the Sun tugs the Moon out of a clean ellipse. True Lilith oscillates around the mean position by several degrees and turns retrograde often. The two can sit in different signs. Most software defaults to mean Lilith, so check which one your chart is showing.

How do I find my Lilith sign?

To find your Lilith sign, run a natal chart on any calculator that offers extra points and enable Black Moon Lilith, sometimes listed as Lilith, Mean Apogee, or the Lune Noire. You need birth date, birth time, and birth place. The sign comes from the date alone and is stable for roughly nine months at a stretch, so an unknown birth time still gives you a valid Lilith sign. The house placement, which is what makes the reading personal, needs an accurate birth time.

Why do so many people have the same Lilith sign?

Black Moon Lilith completes one circuit of the zodiac in roughly 8.85 years, so it spends about nine months in each sign. Everyone born inside that window shares a Lilith sign, which makes it a generational marker more than a personal one, similar to Neptune or Pluto by sign. The individual signal comes from the house Lilith occupies and the aspects it makes to personal planets. A shared Lilith in Scorpio means very little; Lilith in Scorpio conjunct your Sun in the 7th house means quite a lot.

Is Black Moon Lilith only relevant for women?

Black Moon Lilith is read for every chart regardless of gender. The myth attached to the point is a story about a woman refusing a subordinate position, and much of the popular writing frames Lilith as the suppressed feminine, but the psychological content of Lilith in a birth chart is about disowned appetite and refused authority, which is not gendered. Astrologers routinely read Lilith in men's charts as the place where rage, hunger, or need got labeled shameful and driven underground.

What does it mean if Black Moon Lilith is conjunct my Sun, Moon, or Ascendant?

A conjunction between Black Moon Lilith and the Sun, Moon, or Ascendant pulls the Lilith theme into plain sight instead of leaving it buried. Lilith on the Sun tends to describe an identity built in defiance of what was expected. Lilith on the Moon points to needs that were treated as excessive in childhood. Lilith on the Ascendant produces a person others read as provocative before any provocation happens, and who gets projected onto heavily. Allow a tight orb of one to three degrees for these to mean much.

Should I use Black Moon Lilith, Dark Moon Lilith, or asteroid Lilith?

Most working astrologers use Black Moon Lilith, the lunar apogee point, and ignore the other two. Dark Moon Lilith refers to a hypothetical second satellite of Earth that was reported in the nineteenth century and never confirmed to exist, so its ephemeris describes an object astronomy does not recognize. Asteroid 1181 Lilith is a real rock but was named after the French composer Lili Boulanger, not the mythological figure. If you want one Lilith, use Black Moon Lilith.